BUDS by Branden Wang

         Friends, we all have them. Jocks have many friends, while the nerds acquire a few. I have a friend, guess his name...it starts with an A for Awesome and ends with a N for Neat: Ashton.

        Ashton is a regular Woodside resident. He is a citizen; he goes to school; he plays video games; and he does whatever an average 10 years old would do. Ash, as we call him, plays Tanki, a futuristic new game, and Clash of Clans, a barbaric overrated game.  Ash is 4 feet 9 inches and has tan skin color; his family is from Asia. Ash is a cool guy who thinks the odd, the unexpected. For example, the “pesticided” Thanksgiving turkeys. This is unusual because in 2012, an average person eats 16 pounds of turkey with pesticide, possibly making one ill. Ash’s talent is to be different, even if the odds are against him. Once he asked a few classmates whether they like pickles, they all responded yes, but Ash didn’t waver his no. Ash stood his ground.

         I am a regular Queens boy, too. I am a citizen; I go to school; I play video games; and I do whatever an average 10 year old would do. I play games such as Minecraft, super old, 2 years old. I am about 4 feet 7 inches and have peach skin color; my family is from Taiwan, a small island off the coast of China. Not to brag, but I am a pretty good writer. One of my other talents is drawing. I know this because one of the best drawers, my friend Malem, admits that I draw pretty well, too. Therefore, if you need anything drawn or need to read an out-of-this-universe story, you know whom to call. Me.

        Ashton and I are scholars who don’t seem similar, but we are. We both like the scrumptious, juicy, delicious, yellow, white, baked, fried, crunchy, dirty, potato! When the potato is eaten, it gives a punch to your taste buds causing them to send messages to the brain at express mail, via outlook, telling the brain that a potato has just landed onto the tongue and that it is totally delicious. Besides liking the universe’s best food, the potato, we both like the show Gravity Falls. Gravity Falls is a show where the Pines twins, Dipper and Mable, are spending their summer vacationing at their great uncle, Gurnkle Stan’s house, the Mystery Shack, which is located at Gravity Falls, Oregon, which was founded by the 8^th and a ½ president, Quintin Trebly. This town has many secrets that should never be uncovered, but the Pines twins are revealing them. Our families would never guess our unusual similarities.

         Ashton and I are different in three ways. One, I don’t read the Artemis Fowl series. The Artemis Fowl series to me is about these kids who are on a quest for something, like the Percy Jackson series. Two, I don’t get my head stuck in the popular games like Yukio, Club Penguin, Animal Jam, Transformice, Clash of Clans, Tank, or maybe Poptropcica. Many of these games have become boring; I never set up accounts for these games. Three, I don’t complain as much as Ashton; for example, I don’t complain when there are small “mystery” stains on the lunch room table which happens 3 times a week. Despite our differences, we are best friends.

      What is a friend? Ignore the dictionary’s definition; the dictionary knows nothing about friends. A friend is someone who plays tag with you, a person who helps each other achieve his goal, or a person who talks about how the disgusting lunch ladies make their cardboard cheese. When do you know you have a friend? Well, I shouldn’t have tell you, you will know when you’ve made a friend.

FRATERNAL TWINS by Branden Wang

       There are two categories of reading: school reading and fun reading. Same, right? Well, newsflash, not exactly. They are fraternal twins: alike but not completely alike.

“Schoolly” reading a.k.a school reading is dead boring. Textbook boring! So basically, you read about some Abnormal Aztecs, Mad-as-beef Mound Builders, Mutty (nutty) Mayans, and the Ignorant Incans. Sure, these Indian tribes seem interesting to some people, but in school textbooks, they put the facts in the most boring way as possible. [Don’t get me even started on the Common Core! For those readers who don’t know what the Common Core, in my opinion, it is basically pass the state exam or else you go to summer school.  As a result, kids are panicking like crazy because of this “important” test (the test isn’t important). To prepare for this, since the George W. (pronounced Dubya by Texans) Bush era, teachers have been cramming kids with, no, PLANE LOADS of useless info that won’t help you after the state exam. Well, THANK YOU to the National Governors Association for starting the state exam.] School reading is just like eating tasteless school lunch salami.

         Onto fun reading, a magical reading, which soothes the body. In this enchanted type of reading, you can read anything your brain desires: the bloody Civil War, the secret N.E.R.D.S. who are like sly foxes, the crazy unicorn of Magrus (Bad Unicorn) who is categorized as a cyco killer, or the environmentalist Noah who is like a wise person. (Flush) Not fun, eh? Well, what if I tell you that these books are suspenseful, particular, and super-powered. And the best of all books is Two Miserable Presidents by Steve Shenkn and illustrated by Tim Robinson. History is best as Shenkn writes it because he gives it a twist of seriousness and creativity with mind-blowing pictures guiding you through the “civil action”. Fun reading crunches your brain with crazy creative writing.

         There is an obvious difference between these two types of readings, the “fun level”. School reading is dull and like the boring color beige. On the other hand, fun reading is stupendous and like the color of neon green. Another difference between these two types of reading lies in whether the reading is mandatory. School reading is mandatory even after you go on strike, refuse to do it, or rip it up (your teacher will just send you to the principal’s office if you do that). However, with fun reading, you can read whenever you want, you could curl up into a ball and read under your blanket when you are sleeping, or rip the book once you finished. By the way, DON’T RIP UP THE BOOK.

         An obvious similarity: you have to read. In school reading, you read about whatever your teacher wants you to read about, and in fun reading, you read about whatever you want. Both fun reading and school reading trigger the mind and connect you to the world. An article I read in school, “Should Schools Ban Cupcakes?”, caused my mind to bubble and question if cupcakes should be banned. Last year I read Secret Agent Sixth Grader 4: Selfies are Forever. The conclusion introduced a mysterious force on the top of the secret agent chain at the schools. That stimulated my imagination and I wondered: who is the top agent in the chain? The fifth saga STILL hasn’t been released yet!

      Reading is for everyone. Every individual has his own interest - historical fiction, autobiographies, realistic fiction, or Shakespeare’s poetry.  Fantasy fiction earns a spot on my top five reading genre list. Currently, I am racing through a book called a Bad Unicorn by Platte F. Clark.  It is making a name in my “Grammy Book Awards”; it is turning out to be one of the best books I have ever read. What genre do you prefer? What book are you reading now?

From the Desk of Branden Wang...

       “Attack!” command Benjy.

       This war was June 13, 2052 to June 30, 2052; a war, children against children. What war you ask? It is: THE KID WAR...

IT’S

BENJY, SPANT, AND JOHNLY in...

THE TROUBLE STARTS

       

       It all started when German kids got angry. They thought that adults had too much say in the world and kids had no say at all. No decisions, no rights, no nothing. They soon formed the Rebelors.

      When Child Senator Hans Schmitt of East Europe heard about this, he immediately resigned.

     When Senator Jack Wilson heard about this, he got mad; he assembled the Kid Nation’s greatest senators to fight in the upcoming war. They were:

      Jamie Jones, a Baltimore baseball player with a specialty of reckless fighting. As a toddler, he wrestled kids and pillows.

     Clay Liao or Nantou Taiwan is a boy with a little mustache; he is very interested neuroscience.

      And Branden Wang of New York City, even though he is the youngest senator, he is the most creative one when it comes to writing.

       The headquarters for the Kid Nation was located at the Galapagos Islands, but due to the discovery of ’42, the moved the headquarters to the LIE exit 32^E. The entrance is behind some tall brown oak trees. Then, there are about 38 shrubs before you get to the actual entrance. Before you enter the 1-inch thick iron doors, you have to go past a droid who scans your finger. If a visitor has come, you say, I allow (name) to enter this building. The headquarters looks like an upside down Dannon low fat yogurt cup, and it was painted green due to the fire of ’50.

The senators argued for 4754890238443 seconds straight in Argue Hall. The Argue Hall is a horseshoe shaped chamber that has an electronic map in the middle. The room has a Pac-Man shaped table in the center with a hologram opener in the center. In the room, there are 21 “rolly” chairs, enough for 20 senators and Jack, which are 1 ft. off the ground with a 1.25 in. thick cushion for the back and the seat. Then, they all agreed, it was war. All the senators scrambled to assemble 75 kids from their hometown to fight in the upcoming war.

Jack, Jamie, and Clay will fight with Branden’s army of 81, James’ army of 91, Jamie’s army of 42, and Clay’s army of 75. Branden was going to 35-36-534st Far Rockaway to recruit three kids. Who? Johnly, Spant and Benjy.

Suddenly, three-3-by-9-feet-long German kid sized jets with a wingspan of 18 ft. flew above the base and bombed the east wing of the Kid Nation’s base into smithereens.

Debris scattered everywhere, armor and weapons fell everywhere, and smoke filled the air. The four senators crawled out all black ‘n blue, they grabbed some GJEIAEE23536 water guns, but it was too late.

“OH, it’s on,” said Jack “OH, it’s on.”

TO BE CONTINUED

TWO STRATEGIC GAMES by Branden Wang

In the world, every game has a spark. There are sports, board games, card games, word games, puzzles and many more. But, two games shine the brightest: Capture the Flag and Chess.  

    

Capture the flag is a strategic game. If you don’t plan well, your flags will be taken, defeated, and lacking pride will describe your team after that massive attack. The teams need defenders defending your flags; the teams need swift players on offense taking the other feller’s flags. In this spectacular game, brains beat brawn. The objective is to win by taking the other team’s flags. When the other team’s players are on your side, tag them and they become “prisoners”. If the other team’s players come to your side and tag the prisoners, they are not your prisoners, and you cannot tag the escaping prisoner. If an opposing player, who has one of your flags, gets tagged, your flag gets returned. Capture the Flag is an exciting game.

The king moves left. Bam, checkmate. Chess is an unpredictable game that boasts your brainpower by 2 times. You have to use your brain, you have to use you common sense, your logic, and strategy. Watch Garry Kasparov, Emanuel Lasker, and Paul Morphy, some of the world’s best chess players, to unravel the best chess games played. In the game, there are 16 pieces: 8 pawns, 2 rooks, 2 knights, 2 bishops, 1 queen, and 1 king. It is hard to explain what the pieces do so just look at the following link: http://www.chesslab.com/rules/chessrules.html. Chess is a brain stimulating game.

In the two exciting games, there is a main similarity: a strategic mind. In these two games, you need strategy to win. In capture the flag, plan on how to defend your flags, and keep your prisoners from escaping, and take the other team’s flags. In chess, use strategic thinking to keep the other team’s pawns from reaching your side getting higher ranks, and how you will attack the enemy, and checkmate the other team’s king. In these games, strategy is resembled greatly.

Chess and Capture the flag are different in one main way. In Capture the Flag athletics is the key thing and in chess, brains is the key thing. In Capture the Flag, run to get the other team’s flag and at the same time make sure that you are not taken prisoner. In chess, make sure that you are not jeopardizing yourself and that you can react to the opponent’s next move. Both Capture the Flag and Chess require plugging in strategic thinking. Different games require different skills to play.

In the world, new games pop up everywhere, every millisecond. If I were to write all the names of games down, it would be 5,472,945 pages long and there would be approximately 7,492,345,873 games on the list. But, like most people, I like only about 0.00000000000000000000000000003272% of the games in the world. They happen to be two wondrous games, two spectacular games, two superb games. They are Capture the Flag and Chess. 

FREE DAY by Branden Wang

Joe wakes up hearing a smashing “qlurx” noise. He thinks, what is that noise? He opens the blinds to see New York City in its most chaotic state. This is free day, a weird day where Joe can do whatever Joe wants to do. What does Joe do on this year’s free day, a crazy day with no rules?

Food in the air, butter on the floor, it’s a food fight! French toast dumplings blast through the air; cheeseburgers with fried ice cream instead of burgers (what?) splatter onto the buildings; hot beef Sundays flies off the trucks; python kebabs (isn’t is poisonous?) slams into street lights; fried butterballs smear car windows; and pickle pops blind food-fight players just for a few seconds. At the food fight, Joe uses different types of butter such as cultured butter, sweet cream butter, raw creamed butter (it is prized!), ghee, or ghee butter to make his opponents trip. (Do you know in year 0 (ha, year 0) someone used a pizza as a shield?) According to the rules of the food fight, there are no rules!

Joe walks down Cortlandt Street, whoa; the food-fight players are having an extreme food fight! They have calzones, nugget biscuits (nuggets in a biscuit), and sweet cream butter darting towards Fulton Center. Baleshwar Boracic, a college professor, grasps the pizza like the guy from year 0. Joe takes the train to Woodside Avenue and gets off to visit “The Hole”, Uew Uork Uity (pronounce EW ork yity). It is just like NYC with trains, buses, Shake Shack restaurants, the Chrysler Building, and Columbia University. Surprisingly, an artificial sun and clouds light up The Hole so it looks like the upper world. Free day is crazy!

Joe travels to New Dorp, Staten Island, where the water gun fight is about to begin. The rules of the game are two teams both run to the center of the field to retrieve the NERF guns to play. Then it is straight forward after that, a player blasts down all the opponents with a swift blow from his water gun. Once all the players on the opposing team are shot by their water guns, or a team surrenders, the other team will win and win all the glory. AANNDD, the prize for winning the tournament is negative 50 dollars. (“It is less than worthless,” said Quintin Trembley, the 8^th and a ½ president of the U.S.) Joe arrives there and watches the fight.

BBUUTT... some people use this day to their advantage. For example, some people control awesome Narwhals by putting headphones pumping Justin Beaver music causing them to be sea-buses. Even worse, humans use the unique Vampire Squid as flashlights as they scuba dive. But, worst of all, police officers force dogs to help solve crimes! (Hmm...that is really not that bad, scratch that.) In addition, citizens drop bombs, fly a 747, fire a AK47, mix the recycling with the trash (he he), set fire to Miami, use swords, use nukes, cre, cre, cre, glurx blurx (random sounds). We are experiencing some technical difficulties.

  It is 12344321:5656.56 seconds (11:09.32 seconds) and Joe decides to sleep. Joe has done all the crazy things from eating shoe soup to jumping off the One World Trade Center. He thinks, I can’t wait till next year’s free day! Yes, everyone can’t wait.   

***ANIMAL CRUELITY: no animals were forced to lighten to Justin Beaver’s music. J

FOUR FINE FOODS by Branden Wang

You smell that aroma? It’s dinnertime! From bread to oranges, most food is healthy for everyone. But, out of all the foods in the world, my favorites include eggs, salmon, oranges, and broccoli.

        

What are the oval shaped things in a cake? Eggs. Eggs are 3D ovals with white or brown shells. The outside is a hard shell, but the inside is a soft yolk. With a taste of deliciousness, this number one protein producer provides everyone’s body with abundant protein, helping the body stay nice and strong. But, not eating eggs makes the body weak with no muscle. One won’t be able to walk short distances, like Cesar Chavez during his fasting. Eggs are the gas fueling the car.

Which fish has silver scales that glimmer in the sunlight? Salmon. This fish tastes soft and savory. Did you know this little guy has some “mad” cousins named tuna, sardines, and trout? They are “mad” because they are not as popular as salmon.** Also, since salmon has the ability to reproduce up to 7000 eggs, there will always be plentiful of salmon for generations and generations. If you eat salmon, you are consuming a lot of omega-3, which is good for your heart, cholesterol, and triglycerides. Without salmon and omega-3, the body will not function properly. Salmon is number 2 on my favorite food list.

Guess what is my third favorite food? The orange orange. Oranges are large spheres that are well, orange. These juicy fruits have a semi-solid skin with a soft, sweet, and sour inside. The taste of the orange will dance on your tongue like rain falling onto leaves, like paint dripping from a paint brush. Oranges supply you with vitamin D, which keeps the body nice and strong so you do not crinkle to dust like a flower in the cartoons. Stop vitamin D intake, and your bones will become frail and then break, leaving you in pain. Therefore, stick with oranges, the vitamin D pals.

Last, but not least, the great green tree - broccoli. The top of the broccoli is as wavy as a cattail, the bottom is as hard and stiff as a rock, and the color is as green as your face when you are on a roller coaster. Broccoli has every vitamin you can think about. Vitamin A, B1, B2, B3, B5, B7, B9, B12, C, D, K, iron, calcium, and riboflavin. Removing broccoli from your diet will not affect the body because it can rely on other foods for the same nutrients broccoli possess. But, why substitute broccoli when it provides so many vitamins at one eating?

Dinnertime! Eggs, broccoli, salmon, and oranges smack face down deliciously on the platters. Not a fan of today’s dinner? Just when you are about to say no, remember this essay. Then you will decide to accept your dinner and eat it. Wait up. I want you to do one more thing. Clear your platter! 

**      I just made it up for unnecessary reasons.