THIS, NOT THAT by Branden Wang

        It was 11:30. Sunday, August 2015. A young boy, age ten, enter the living quarters looking for specimen AX⁷³⁵⁴. He finds it. A fairly small specimen about 9 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. It has a valley on the underside, just like a bridge. It has a smooth surface and what seems like large, cubed, boulders. It is a remote. He plops himself onto the couch and turns on the TV and flips to cartoon network. Five minutes into the program, a breaking news alert pops up. It says the USA is called a nation of couch potatoes. He thinks. Why should you exercise? Should you exercise?   

         Being active is fun, unlike watching TV. When you are watching TV, you have a limited choice on what you can watch. That gets everyone frustrated and worked up. Unlike exercising, you can chose whatever you want to play as long as you like it. Another reason TV is boring is because TVs are machines that can break. So, if you have a favorite show that has a premiere of a new episode, but your TV is broken, you would get very mad wasting your own time when you could be outside exercising

         Why is physical activity good for you? Many people shudder at the thought of contracting a serious illness, well, exercising could prevent a wide spread amount of diseases, including stroke, type 2 diabetes, and falls. It also improves mood, something crabby people like (they don’t like being crabby). And it promotes better sleeping, so you can wear your parents out (a child’s dream). For some reason, it reduces stress. I know, WEIRD!

         Some might not like exercising, but how can a person exercise when they don’t like doing it? Splash the water, dance all night or just walking is a way you can exercise without knowing you are doing it. Or, you can compete in a competitive water gun fight! Water gun fights are done with high levels of strategy. If you have no strategy and you charge in blindly, you would be fighting like the generals in the civil war (their strategies are HORIBLE).

         What to do, what to do. You might not know what to do now, but luckily, I am here to help. Are you brainy, fast, and pretty daring? Then capture the flag is prefect for you; Capture the Flag needs brainy people to plan the game, daring people to capture the flags, and fast people to defend [their side]. Can you jump very high? Can you throw the ball high into the air? Do you have good aim? Then basketball is the sport for you. Can you run like the wind, hit balls with a bat, and throw fast balls? Then baseball is the sport for you; baseball combines patience, agility and aim into a fun game.

         The boy turns the TV off. He thinks for 5 minutes. He opens a door and goes outside. He runs towards his friend’s house. He rings the doorbell. His friend answers. They go outside and have some exercising fun.

From the Desk of Branden Wang

~WARNING~

PLEASE NOTE...

The following story is all fake bbla bla bbbllalal baaall. So blah blah balh blah. It was

written and composed by a boy named Johnly Blukro. He is a real person. Blah blah

blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

ALL READERS ARE ADVISED TO WEAR A STRAITJACKET WHEN TRADING THIS. DUE TO ITS AWESOMENESS CAN MAKE YOU CRAZY.

 Now, a word from the author. Yours truly Johnly Bukr.

Dear reader,

            I hope you will enjoy this piece I have composed. I have composed this with the finest Banana Inc. computer, a Jaorn Book air pro.

Sincerely,

Johnly Buckro

Now, a message from the publisher. TACOS     INC.

Dear reader,

            TACOS INC is proud to bring you this well written piece of art. We hope you enjoy it.

Best regards,

Benlington (Benjy) Heptip

CEO of TACOS INC

Copyright: July 1, 2059 Far Rockaway, 5 rd., Beach Channel Drive, 12827, NYC, NY, USA by TACOS INC.

All rights reserved

Printed in the United States of America, United Kingdom

www.coachjenng.blogpost.com

Through the Limbs... / Johnly Blukro

Pkr.fodishanlknsl1871 [FIC] 60002100054 GHA 78 1753  _{5500534172901098}

_{DEDICATED TO}

My swell friends, Benjy and Spant

THROUGH THE LIMBS…

By Johnly Blukro

Johnly 

            

“BZZT”

         “It is done!” exclaimed Benjy Heptip. “The HITHERe174283& is finished!” Benjy is a very creative boy who has a fiery temper. His temper caused him to yell at him self for getting a 99.9 on a math test. Benjy was born on January 1, 2004, loves dragon fruit, and studied college math for 15 hours straight, and wouldn’t have mastered catch without Johnly.

         “What ever,” growled Johnly in a dead way.  Johnly is a boy who has an ice cool temper, in other words he is calm. His calmness has won his 418 calm awards. Johnly was born on December 31, 2004, stars at capture the flag, ran to Quebec in 15 hours (and back), and would of flunked kindergarten without Benjy.

         “You are probably wondering what the machine does. It blah bah is blah. (Blacked out because it will spoil what is does). Blag fwuq HUW Fleas fhewq.”

         “Sigh,” sighs Benjy. “Why don’t you SHUT UP and show me how this thing works!?”

         “OKEY DONKY”

         “AAAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAH” yelled Benjy and Johnly as they tumbled toward a dark abyss.

          This is Spant; he is a giant squid. Today, Spant feels like a mixture of root beer, mustard, and acid has hit him. Kooky, right?

Spant

         “Where are we?” asked Johnly

         “It appears we are in a giant squid you rookie Boone,” growled Benjy.

         “Hey, at least I am not the n00by butt who got us into this mess.”

         “Sorry.”

         “Sorry.”

         “Hugs?”

“Hugs.”

~THREE HUGS LATER~

         “The giant squid’s category is Mollusca and its class is Cephalopoda. The giant squid’s habitat is spread across the oceans. Its mantle accounts for only 7.4 ft. of the squid while its tentacles account for 16 ft. of the body; at the most, the giant squid is 44 ft. long. This squid eats fish and other squids; sperm whales and maybe pilot whales eat it,” babbled Benjy.

“HIMIMIMIMIM,” hmmm Johnly.

“Is that.”

“The brain”

Benjy’s chunky ‘n’ cheesy facts: the giant squid brain.

                                                    

Benjy

         The giant squid has a complex nervous system and a doughnut shaped brain. The giant squid is believed to be the smartest invertebrate. The giant squid’s esophagus goes through the brain in a hole in the center of the brain.

_________________________________________________________

         “Meh, let’s go,”

         “Wait… why is there a tube going through the brain?”

         “AAHHHHHH!!!” yelled the two boys crashing into each other. They kept running into each other until they fell face down on the brain.

         “Hm!” said Johnly. “What nifty eyes!

_________________________________________________________

Benjy’s chunky and cheesy facts: the giant squid eyes.

       The giant squid has the largest eyes of any living creature; the eyes having a diameter of 1 foot, the size of a football or a dinner plate. These eyes allow the squid to detect prey in areas with low light level. They do this by finding the slightest change in light.

_________________________________________________________

         “Hmm,” said Benjy.

         “HeHeHe AHHH!!!” yelled Johnly.

         Johnly completely freaked out by the sight of a 1 foot diameter, 3.14 feet circumference eye twitch. He ran to the esophagus and slid down. Benjy followed Johnly, ran to the esophagus and slid down. He regretted every step.

         “Shut up!” yelled Benjy.

         “I wanna go home,” said Johnly. “Where are we?”

         “In a squid arm.”

_________________________________________________________

Benjy’s chunky and cheesy facts: the giant squid arms / tentacles.

         The has 8 arms and 2 tentacles. The tentacles tend to be 33 ft. long allowing the squid to capture prey from a far distance. The clubs at the ends of the tentacles are lines with sharp edged suction cups about 1 to 2 inches in diameter. The giant squid uses its tentacles to capture and immobilize its prey.

_________________________________________________________

         “Up we go!” yelled the two boys.

The two boys turned on their jet packs and went up and up until they hit the brain and fell onto the beak which was on the bottom of the mantle.

_________________________________________________________

Benjy’s chunky ‘n’ cheesy facts: the giant squid mantle and beak.

         The mantle is the body of the squid and only accounts for 6.5 feet of the giant squid’s length. To move, the giant squid fills a cavity within the mantle and shoots water through a funnel on the underside of the squid.

            The beak is razor sharp and is used to cut prey into small pieces. Once the prey is chewed, the teeth covered tongue like organ called the radula will cut the prey into smaller pieces.

______________________________________________________

       “THE BEAK!” shouted Benjy over the sound of the tongue thing.

         “PROTECTION SHEILDS ON,” said Johnly.

         “ON A COUNT OF THREE, JUMP! CANTLOUPE CREAM PIE, FAT GUYS ARE COOL, WATCH OUT STOMACH, HERE WE GO… 3!!!

_________________________________________________________

       Benjy and Johnly woke up next to the machine that brought them into the giant squid.

         “Do you think that machine brought us to the giant squid?” asked Benjy.

         “Whelp, that is probably something we should keep to our selves,” said Johnly.

THE END?

P.S. THE MACHINE TAKES YOU TO WHERE EVER YOU WANT TO GO TO.

                                                            

THE 21ST CENTURY SHAKESPEARE 2.0 by Branden Wang

Sigh. It is another dull dreadful day, full of boredom. Why Shakespeare, that man who wrote only of lovey-dovey plays, jaded plays. Bad Unicorn; Bad Unicorn, what kind of name is that? The book has something special in it, an extra pizazz that makes it bulge in the crowd. It MUST be a mandatory read. Why?

First order of business, what is the book about? The novel is about three comrades and a dwarf who gets time traveled to the future because of a codex named the Codex of Infinite Knowability. Perplexed, the comrades struggle to survive through numerous hardships. Saved by two Frobbits, one named Yah Yah, one of the comrades finds out his name in Frobbit language means: an itchy butt. They soon begin fighting (for their precious lives) three robots and a crazy cyborg unicorn named Princess who has been trying to find the comrades for centuries; therefore she can have her human buffet in Texas, which has three courses. Human steak, human soup, and human ice cream. After defeating Princess, the comrades find a dragon that would send them back to their time on one condition - the four adventurers must kill a sinister and devious wizard named Rezormore Dreadbringer. The heroes agree to the dragon’s conditions and are sent back in time, not knowing if they will return to their actual time.

One reason why this book should be a mandatory read - it flickers on the imagination. Many teachers want the best for their students. By reading the book, the teachers will help children use their imagination. In a survey of 858 teachers, 80% say they teach because they like to work with children, and 75% say they teach because they want to make a change. They would change the following industries by using the novel: cooking, architectural, and writing, because those industries need people with great imaginations. Plus, thousands of entrepreneurs will spring from the ground like a dandelion’s seeds being planted into the earth.

Another reason this book should be a mandatory read because it has enough laughter and seriousness. It cannot have too much laughter because the students would talk about the funny parts in the story and then they would laugh disrupting the class. If the class keeps being interrupted, then the students would not be able to learn their needed lessons. The seriousness balances the laughter.

The final reason is that reading the book might urge stubborn children who have sworn to never read, to read once again. If the book is 4.5 stars, would you read it? I would, like many other kids because if the book is 4.5 stars many people would want to read it. The book makes stubborn students read again because the book would make the students absolutely dazzled by its superiority making them want to read more books like that.

The book is worthy of being a mandatory read. Talk to the chancellor. Explain the reasons. The book can improve the world, it balances the laughter and the seriousness, and it makes pupils want to read. One wouldn’t want to read Shakespeare over and over again. Would you?

From the desk of BRANDEN WANG...

BARING! BARING!

         “AHH,” yelled the boys from their rooms. The boys go through the weirdest mornings ever. Have you wondered what sophisticated morning the boys endure?

IT’S

BENJY, SPANT, AND JOHNLY in...

RISE AND SHINE

-Johnly’s house.

Johnly’s bed suddenly stopped projecting. That meant it was 9:00. Johnly slept on a holographic bed. It was 95% hologram, 2% light, and 3% blue.

         “Stupid bed,” grumbled Johnly. “I need to make a new bed.”

         “Hi sweetie,” said Johnly’s mom.

         Silence.

         “GmIn-,” Johnly finally managed to say. “SNORE, snORE,”

         “We need that new bed.”

-Spant’s House.

         “SNOOAH SUQU,” snored Spant. Spant slept on a bed made of hybrid wood called Time. Time is a hybrid of Titanium and pine wood. His bed has a holographic matrices made of 84% hologram and 16% light.

         “WAKE UP SPANT!!!" yelled Blant Spant’s brother.

       “YEAH, MOM IS MAKING HE FAMOUSE FISHIEH MOUSESE!” said Tant, Spant’s other brother.

         “When you say that, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!” Spant, as usual hit the wall.

         “New world record, most time to consequentially hit the wall, 72 times.”

-Benjy’s house.

         Benjy woke up.

         9:13.

          He was late.

        Benjy slept on a plain wooden bed. Oak to be specific. His bed frame  held up a queen sized mattress. Some say his family is old fashioned. He thinks they are normal.

       The bed ragged. Benjy managed to get to the living room and eat breakfast. Cereal. Cold. The droopy eyed Benjy ate his cereal and went to brush his teeth.

-Spant’s House.

         Spant’s brothers did it. They dragged Spant thirty feet, from Spant’s room to the living room.

         “At breakfast, he eats at the speed of light!” exclaimed Tant.

        Spant whizzed through his room and the bathroom. He was ready to go to Johnly’s. But, he remembered that if you go early to Johnly’s house, Johnly lectures about division for 30 min. Torture.

         He had to wait 25 min. It seemed like torture.

-Benjy’s house.

         He looked at the clock. Once. Only once.

         He was late. He was supposed to be outside waiting for the QM 16, the new hovering bus. The bus had a blue bottom that would glow when the bus hovered. The bus looks like a regular bus, except it has a blue bottom with no wheels. The ride to Johnly’s was 20 minutes. He had only 22 minutes, so the bus better come soon!

-Johnly’s house.

         He was done. 9:43. He had loads of time. Johnly’s apparel consisted of baggy shorts, a purple shirt with a monkey wearing a tie and glasses.

He had absolutely nothing to do. All he could do was lay his head down and curl up in a ball... and then bang his head.

Then they arrived.

“Hi guys,” the boys said in unison.

         “How was your morning?”

         “Pretty good.”

         And the boys continued the day with another lively adventure...  J J J J J

   THE END!!!

*LEAVE YOUR IDEAS IN THE COMMENTS PART. YOUR IDEA CAN BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THE SERIES!!! TKS :)*