WHAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU INVITE A UNICORN AND A WIZARD TO YOUR HOUSE FOR DINNER? By Branden Wang

Narrator: If you answered “it will fart rainbows”, then that is incorrect. Let’s see what is happening at Branden’s place.

Ring. Ring.

“I’ll get it.”

“Oh, come in.”

It is April 1, 2159, Princess the Unicorn (literally a unicorn) and Magar, a wizard, from the book Bad Unicorn have been invited to eat at Branden’s (from The Kid War, which was from June 13, 2052 to June 30, 2052) great (130 generations) grandchild’s place.

Branden VII opens the door and sees a unicorn who has a basket, perhaps with frobbits inside. Frobbits are short, small, and a bit salty creatures with bog ears, hairy feet, large eyes, and roundish bodies because of eating and drinking. The unicorn has a blue mane, and tail, and a forehead with stars on it. Standing beside her is Magar, a skinny guy with grey-flecked hair and a black goatee - the goatees you see on evil henchmen, but he is not evil. Magar wears “pajamas” with stars and moons and a pointed hat with stars and moons.

Branden, Princess, and Magar sits down at a dining table covered with scrumptious Chinese food steaming hot.

“I don’t like salmon,” grumbles Magar, poking the salmon.

Princess opens the basket she bought, “I present, frobbits. Now eat them or else say good bye to the world.”

“UMM,” everyone replies simultaneously. “OK.”

“So, Magar,” says Branden VII. “What is the Codex of Infinite Knowability?”

“Well,” Magar explains. “The Codex is an old book whose pages are placed randomly so you should not use the book for book responses. The book also contains the fifteen prime spells, the foundation of the magic in the three realms. The Codex is guarded by eletricity that stings you when you touch it. Only few have ever opened the boo-”

“I was wondering, why do people draw unicorns with horns?” asks Princess.

“DON’T ANSWER,” whispers Magar in a hushed tone to Branden VII.

“Hm.”

Everyone talks, relaxes, and eats the food while watching a hologram show.

“What is this, a magic picture maker that shows you anything?” wonders Magar.

“This is a TV,” Branden replies. “You can watch whatever TV shows on it, depending on the TV provider. The newer versions are small boxes that project a TV like hologram into the air. This TV was created by Johnly’s (from The Kid War) great (127 Greats) grandkid. But, his son is currently trying to make the new TV better by letting it project colors. That TV is coming into stores in 2020.”

“That is an interesting tec-no-lo-a-giez or what humans call electronics. I think I am going to bring one back to entertain me while on the two year trip to the Magrus where I live.”

Princess brings up the question.

“Seriously,” Princess ponders. “Why do people draw unicorns with horns?”

Silence.

“Branden... Magar...”

Silence.

“You better tell me.”

Silence.

“Grrr…” (Horn sparkles.) “RAH!”

Princess flips the dining table over - salmon slapping Magar, rice smashing Branden, broccoli fumbling onto Mrs. Wang (Branden’s mom), and eggs colliding with Mr. Wang (Branden’s dad) – and the ground cracks. Well, you might be worried that the people are going to be thirsty. Well fear not! The next three minutes everyone will be basically showering in sweet and sour soup.

“AH!” everyone cries.

“MUAHHHH MUAHHHH MUAHHHH!” Princess yells.

Narrator: The answer to the question? We don’t know. A unicorn has not come to the Earth from the Magrus - where Magar and Princess live - soooo we don’t know. What? You expect us to KNOW? But, we can guess from the story that once you invite a unicorn to your house, it will wreck your house so hard.

~MORAL~

Do not invite princesses with horns to your house. Wizards are fine.