IT’S BENJY, SPANT, AND JOHNLY in... THE KID ASTRONAUTS by Branden Wang

         It was June 10^th, 2052. Only a week after Spant went into Benjy’s body to get rid of his hiccups (in a sub of course)! The three boys, Benjy, Spant, and Johnly was in Johnly’s tree house. Johnly’s tree house was a tiny hexagon. It looked like it can only fit three people, but don’t underestimate the power of Johnly’s creativity! Inside the tree house, it is as big as a house! There is a living room, three small rooms, two bathrooms, and five closets. The weirdest part is that it is impossible to be boring.

         “Hmm...New improved space ship GlurxelDixie flies into outer space,” said Johnly looking at Xlebarterxthebomb computer. The gizmo toaster is a toaster with a TV implanted in it. It will be on air during 2064.                              

         “Nom chew burp nom nom nom nom,” gobbled Spant. “These dwagon fwute tastes very spectacular.” Spant is a very weird 11¾ years old that really likes Dragon Fruit. He also wan the 2050 dragon fruit eating contest and got three crates of dragon fruit.

         “Oh quiet would you,” grumbled Benjy. “I am trying to read a book you know?” Benjy is the most aggressive 12 ^1/10 year old you will ever meet. Once, he gave his sister an hour long scolding on why she should not come into his room.

         “We should go to space,” said Johnly.

“Well why not?” hesitantly agreed Spant.

         “We might DIE,” yelled Benjy.

         “Stop being a grouch Benjy,” grumbled Johnly.

         “Well don’t blame ME if you die,” exclaimed Benjy. 

~THE NEXT DAY~
 

The next day, Johnly put the finishing touches on his “awesome” rocket. Then he put his mega crane to work, it was going to move a 10 ton rocket onto Johnly’s custom made launch pad (he made the pad out of air transformed into iron). Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, and blast off! Johnly’s rocket went speeding off into outer space at 500 miles per hour. Then, the booster rockets fell off into the Atlantic Ocean near NY harbor, and the splash could be heard at Pittsburg. Soon the three astronauts were in their rocket cutting thru the atmosphe-.

 “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” Yelled Spant and Benjy. “We are going to die!”

“No we aren’t, we are already in outer space,” said Johnly.

“Why don’t we go to Kepler-186f?” asked Benjy

“Let’s go!” exclaimed Johnly

~2 MINUTES LATER~ 
 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” yelled everyone on board the spaceship.

“Did we have to use the turbo jets?” yelled Benjy.

“I.D.K,” replied Johnly

“Hey, there is Kepler-186f,”said Spant CALMLY.

         “Hum, nothing special, let’s go somewhere else.”

         “To Kepler -22!”

~1 MINUTE LATER~

         “NOW you use the not-too-fast-and-not-too-slow-lever,” said Benjy.

         “This is boring,” said Johnly. “We are going back to Earth.”

~20 MINUTES LATER~

“We are now entering the Earth’s atmosphere,” said the computer.

“Prepare,” said Johnly. “Prepare yourself for a rou-.”

“AAAAAGHAAAAAAGAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGAHGAHGAHGA,” yelled Benjy wildly.

“Activating flames stopper, preparing parachutes, turning on the yimlafierkrintin, activating the ghghghghghghghghhghghghghghghghhghgh.”

“Now I think he is just making these things up.”

The ride suddenly became all bumpy; the rocket became an intense fireball. People in Buffalo saw a Fireball streaking through the sky. Even 50 years later scientists are still trying to figure out what exactly the fireball was.

Then suddenly, Johnly’s rocket crashed into his backyard. Then it went on fire. After that it completely fell apart. Everyone onboard the ship was not hurt. They all got a drink of jimitykimity a drink made of apples, dragon fruit, grape fruit, and durian.  Just then, Johnly smacked his forehead. He forgot to bring a bunch of random stuff into outer space and said they MUST go back to outer space.

Guess what he got? A. Big. NO!

THE END!!!

*LEAVE YOUR IDEAS IN THE COMMENTS PART. YOUR IDEA CAN BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THE SERISE!!! TKS :)*

HEY JOE, WHO IS ON THE NEW STAMP? by Branden Wang

        Well... it is 2015, a new year. Why not make a new postage stamp? This stamp will be different; it must not have some tree or some meadow on it. It will be like no other postage stamp; it will have a president’s face on it. Which president’s face? You ask. It shall be President William Jefferson Blythe III aka Bill Clinton’s face on the postage stamp.

       Do you know president Bill Clinton is ranked the 12^th best president out of 43 presidents? That is pretty good, you agree? George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and finally, Herbert Hoover aka, the ____ who started the great depression do not deserve a stamp (sorry guys but you were not good presidents). Both the Bushes lowered taxes and believed that companies do not need a government’s permission to do things *boo*. During Jimmy Carter’s presidency, the interest rate was 25% *thumbs down*. Ronald Regan kept borrowing money from other countries, and only three years into his presidency, the US already owed 4.7 trillion dollars ($4,700,000,000,000) *tomatoes being thrown*. Finally, the ____ who started the great depression, Herbert Hoover - that man caused the whole great depression business *boos, thumbs down, and tomatoes being thrown*. Bill Clinton deserves a postage stamp. When he was in office, unemployment fell from 6.8% to 3.6% *oh yeah*. The stock market average rose from 3,651 to 10,788-a surprising 26.7% a year *clapping and oh yeahs*. Don’t you think Bill Clinton needs something to be on?

        Bill Clinton, he is a classic! Bill Clinton may have fewer enemies than other former presidents, making it safer to put him on a postage stamp. If we put George Washington on a postage stamp, the English might say “Hey, why can’t we put King George the III on a postage stamp?” If we put Abraham Lincoln a postage stamp, the southerners might say “Why can’t we put Jefferson Davis or Robert E. Lee on a postage stamp?” And if we put Andrew Jackson on a postage stamp, the English might say “Hey, why can’t we put King George III on a postage stamp?” As you can see, many presidents have many enemies, but Bill Clinton does not have many enemies so when we put him on a postage stamp, we will not get into a fight, if you know what I mean.

We are not in the 19^th century any more. George Washington, Valley Forge, Trenton, Yorktown, does that ring a bell? Yes, because you already know who are George Washington, John Adams, Tomas Jefferson, James Madison, and Abraham Lincoln - everyone knows them. Why not change it up a bit and give a more modern person a chance? The people in the 18^th to 19^th century had their chance to have the spotlight a long time ago - seriously, a long time ago. Let us give the spotlight to someone else in the 20th to the 21st century a chance. This person cannot be JFK (John Fitzgerald Kennedy) or FDR (Franklin Delano Roosevelt) because they already got their spotlight 45 to 100 years ago. Bill Clinton is the guy you want, he is current, and he is important.

You might say he let Osama Bin Laden get away. Well, news flash, Osama Bin Laden was killed a few years back. You can leave the past now and step into the future. Bill Clinton had kept the economy well for 8 years, and the economy also had extra money to spend, unlike when we had the Bushes or Reagan. Bill also paid what we owed the other countries we borrowed money from. I think you should stop worrying about the past and think about the present.

It is 2015. New this. New that. New everything, and possibly a new stamp with Bill Clinton’s face on it. Good idea, right? Now I have another question. Do you still have time? We are going to have to persuade the postage-stamp makers to make a stamp with Bill Clinton’s face on it.

^{*PLEASE NOTE WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR RAGING INQURIES}  

TOODLES TECHNOLOGY by Grace Tran

Most people are glad that electronic devices are welcomed into the 21st century--iPhones, iPads, iPods, etc.  Like Andrew Brown, the British journalist, once said, “The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.” I agree, although technology was made to benefit the human race, now it’s only hurting us because people are relying on it too much.  Technology not only separates families and friends but also encourages the feeling of loneliness.  

After school, I drop my backpack on the floor, run into the living room, grab my computer, and check Facebook.  “Dinner!”  Mom shouts.  I dash to the kitchen and get my dinner, then dash back to check social media again.  One hour later… silence (dad, mom, and I are on our laptops).  Two hours later… silence (we’re still on our laptops).  Four hours later… the sound of running water (we’re brushing our teeth).  Five hours later… SLAM!!! (We hit the bed).  Dinnertime is supposed to be a gathering of family members to communicate with each other. Instead, we are isolated in our own worlds, entranced by our laptops.

The actress, Charlene deGuzman, starred in a short video that was recently posted on YouTube called, “I Forgot My Phone.”  Currently, the video has over 46 million views.  It’s about a woman who forgot to bring her phone throughout the day and gets left out of everything.  At a birthday party, she found herself surrounded by people recording everything on their phone’s. Later, everyone is texting each other during lunch; and when she went hiking, a man was talking on his phone the entire time.  This is a typical scene we see daily of how a person without a phone (technology) can be ignored by her friends with a phone. In this case, Ms. deGuzman’s character suffered outcast by all her friends.

Ninety-four year old Bertha Kronenberg lives in a retirement home and has felt loneliness upon her ever since.  However, Bertha skypes with her children and grandchildren, which makes them feel as if they’re in the room with her, she says.   Although Bertha also claims that she has made many friends online using technology, the more someone keeps in touch through technology, the less of that person they’ll see.  For example, if I called my grandma everyday, there’s really no reason to see her because I call her so much.  Technology is an illusion of togetherness and that can leave us feeling more alone than ever before. Furthermore, when I don’t visit her, I don’t taste her delicious cooking and I don’t get to embrace her. Grandmas should not be loved through technology; grandmas should be loved in person.

Some people may say technology gives certain teenagers the power of speech - the power to post anything on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.  One would have a better connection using their mouths than using their phones, laptops, computers, or any other electronic device.  And nature gave us the gift to sing with our voices, so why not use our mouths to communicate directly? By communicating in person instead of through technology, we will grow closer instead of drifting apart.

 All in all, technology should not appeal to people as something to decrease loneliness.  It doesn’t increase one’s confidence level either.  Family members should not constantly keep in touch using only technology as a tool to keep in touch.  Instead, they should visit each other and meet face to face.  Before watching the “I Forgot My Phone” video on YouTube, I never realized how the relationship with my family was quiet and isolated.  Now, I will encourage my parents to engage in more family conversations and use less technology.  It’s time to do things the old fashioned way.

OMEGA-3 BRAIN FOOD ON THE MENU by Branden Wang

Principal Brown, you’re probably wondering why we are here, right? We are here to convince you to change the menu to something we want. We choose to add to lunch the fish...salmon. Salmon has many good healthy components, and we will tell you the three pros.

       The omega-3 in salmon is good for you. Oh, that is true! According to Dr. Gary Heiting, omega-3 may benefit eye health. I recall reading that if children had bad eyesight, they might not learn well because children learn 80% of what they learn with their eyes alone. Sure, children can always listen to the teacher, but what if the children cannot see what the teacher is doing? If children cannot see what the teacher is doing clearly and does not get what the teacher is saying, we have a problem. You should consider salmon on the menu for our students’ eyes.

Salmon is good for the brain. If you put salmon on the menu, kids might pass more tests. Nutritional Therapist Jo Lewin says, “It spends a long time at sea and then comes back to its birth place to spawn. The homing mechanism is said to attribute to their olfactory memory. This is the reason salmon is considered brain food.” Furthermore, according to Heather Bauer, a diet counselor and the founder of Nu-Train, in a study, researchers found out that people who eat salmon once a week reduced mental decline by 10%, people who eat salmon twice a week delay mental decline by 13%. If you put salmon on the menu, your school’s rank will go up. Why? The salmon will help your students pass the state exam. The salmon will get our students smarter and rankings higher. What a great combo!

       Why buy salmon? It is very expensive! You must think if we buy it now, we may not have enough money later. However, if we buy salmon now, the children will get better grades now. Then, later on, more kids will pass the state exam. If many kids pass the state exam, the school’s ranking will go up and many parents will be thinking: P.S. 166 must be a top school, I want my child there! Soon, parents will donate money to the P.T.A., who will buy school supplies with the money. Yeah, it is gonna cost a lot of molah but think about the great long term effects!

       Class 5-428 says you should put salmon on the menu. Even though there is a lot of cash being spent, it is all for our school. And our school will get its money back from parents’ donations. Just remember, this is all for our students. We rest my case.

A SHELL OF MYSELF by Grace Tran

Every year my parents encourage me to come up with New Year resolutions, and every year I complain about that.  Whenever I ask why, they say, “You need goals in life, try to reach them.”  I agree, one does need goals in life.  This year, my goals will be a little different from last year.  I decided I am more mature than last year, so I would pick goals actually possible.  In 2015, I will accomplish all my New Year resolutions. I swear it on the River Styx.  

       Before a long school break starts, it seems as though it will never end.  When the beginning of school emerges, that’s when I decide to do my homework.  I don’t like procrastinating, but the weird thing is… I also have no idea why I always end up doing it.  By the time it’s the day before school, I’m rushing to get all my homework complete, stressing out, and not having a very relaxing break after all.  Procrastination is one of the biggest qualities I practically own.  I can’t seem to stop, but things are going to change in 2015.  One of my goals is to stop procrastinating.  Starting… now!

       The Vampire Diaries, The White Rabbit Chronicles, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson -- these are just a few of my favorite fantasy genre books.  I personally love reading fantasy books, but I’ve been reading too much of them.  Another one of my goals this year is to try to read a general selection of books, including biographies.  I would also like to read more nonfiction books or English regents related books such as Hatchet, Of Mice and Men, The Book Thief, and more.  One thing for sure, 2015 is going to be filled with interesting book choices.  

My parents are the best parents in the world and have always been there for me, no matter what.  They worry about me; they feed me; they feel joy for me; they do everything just for me.  When I grow up, I want to take care of them, just as they do for me.  For now, though, I want to make my parents proud.  They deserve the best, but sometimes I argue, I disappoint… I cause anguish, worry.  This year, in 2015, I want to make my parents proud.  I want them to stop worrying and stressing over my upcoming science test, I want them to stop shaking their heads at me when I say or do something wrong.  I want my parents to finally receive what they deserve -- peace, relief, happiness, and everything my wonderful parents deserve.  There will be never anyone more hard working, caring, intelligent, than my mother and father-- Janice Zhang and Jason Tran.

       Every year, I come up with different goals.  This year, my goals are extra challenging but still reachable.  When 2015 begins, I will no longer procrastinate, I will be reading nonfiction books more often, and my parents won’t be worrying about me anymore.  When 2015 begins, I’ll be a shell of a Grace! (Inspired by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? by Branden Wang

It is coming close to time, the time near the end, the end of the year. Oh, it is coming close to December, the wrapper-upper of the year. We have completed all our goals, every last one. Hey. What are my goals for this year?

         There is a school that is close to my current school, P.S. 166Q, that I want to apply to. Let us welcome - The Baccalaureate School for Global Education. The school is an IB school, and IB schools are recognized worldwide so they have to be excellent! It is also ranked 136 out of approximately 500,000 schools in the nation. Yes, the nation. I will achieve this by working very hard, not making careless mistakes, and getting a four on the state exam. If I get into The Baccalaureate School for Global Education, my future will become bright!

Four, the best grade you can get; you want it, but you can’t get it. I want that four like many others. The four tells me if I will go to a first-class middle school or a crummy middle school. It also can guide me to get an awesome or death-sentencing job. If I continue on to The Baccalaureate School for Global Education, a high-ranking middle school, I might get a well-paying job as a writer. If I go to a bad middle school, like the Youthbuild Charleston Center, I might get a crummy job as a cashier. I will get a four on the state wide by double checking for mistakes, be careful while copying numbers so I do not get mixed up, and finally, I will be careful so I don’t get mistakes. Who wants a crummy job if you can get a fancy-schmancy job?

Stickmen, stickmen, stickmen. Doesn’t everyone like stickmen? I like stickmen, oh, that is true, but I want to draw better than I had in 2014. Why I want to improve my drawing skills? Because last year (2014) I drew with no derp, derp is the “fun” in drawing stickmen. Without derp, stickmen are just stickmen, just standing there doing nothing. I will achieve this by continuously drawing stickmen. With derp!

Writing a series of books...seems awesome! If I were to write a series of books (which I want to do in the future) I write a series called The Ridiculously Purposeless adventures of Benjy Johnly and Spant. Writing used to be BORING for me, but now, after tutoring, I LOVE writing. Writing used to actually bore me; I think that happened because I could not write what I want and all my ideas got all crammed in my head so I just thought writing is dumb. Now I think writing is fun, I want to write. I will achieve my goal to write the series The Ridiculously Purposeless adventures of Benjy Johnly and Spant by writing very creatively and will never write “unoriginally”. Just like in illogical math (apartment building + apartment building = Empire State Building), fun equals good ideas!

         Oh, it is 2015, a new year, a time everyone starts out nice and fresh. They forget the naughty things or bad things choking them down. They all start acting out their resolutions, whether they are good or bad or whether they want to or not. I will start acting out my resolutions, oh yes, I will! Now you scurry along, ‘cause you got some resolutions to act out!