OMEGA-3 BRAIN FOOD ON THE MENU by Branden Wang

Principal Brown, you’re probably wondering why we are here, right? We are here to convince you to change the menu to something we want. We choose to add to lunch the fish...salmon. Salmon has many good healthy components, and we will tell you the three pros.

       The omega-3 in salmon is good for you. Oh, that is true! According to Dr. Gary Heiting, omega-3 may benefit eye health. I recall reading that if children had bad eyesight, they might not learn well because children learn 80% of what they learn with their eyes alone. Sure, children can always listen to the teacher, but what if the children cannot see what the teacher is doing? If children cannot see what the teacher is doing clearly and does not get what the teacher is saying, we have a problem. You should consider salmon on the menu for our students’ eyes.

Salmon is good for the brain. If you put salmon on the menu, kids might pass more tests. Nutritional Therapist Jo Lewin says, “It spends a long time at sea and then comes back to its birth place to spawn. The homing mechanism is said to attribute to their olfactory memory. This is the reason salmon is considered brain food.” Furthermore, according to Heather Bauer, a diet counselor and the founder of Nu-Train, in a study, researchers found out that people who eat salmon once a week reduced mental decline by 10%, people who eat salmon twice a week delay mental decline by 13%. If you put salmon on the menu, your school’s rank will go up. Why? The salmon will help your students pass the state exam. The salmon will get our students smarter and rankings higher. What a great combo!

       Why buy salmon? It is very expensive! You must think if we buy it now, we may not have enough money later. However, if we buy salmon now, the children will get better grades now. Then, later on, more kids will pass the state exam. If many kids pass the state exam, the school’s ranking will go up and many parents will be thinking: P.S. 166 must be a top school, I want my child there! Soon, parents will donate money to the P.T.A., who will buy school supplies with the money. Yeah, it is gonna cost a lot of molah but think about the great long term effects!

       Class 5-428 says you should put salmon on the menu. Even though there is a lot of cash being spent, it is all for our school. And our school will get its money back from parents’ donations. Just remember, this is all for our students. We rest my case.