THE CODEX OF INFINITE LINEMEN by Branden Wang

         Stickmen, first created during WWII to pass time for kids and as a result, stickmen entertained parents making it very popular with youths. However, nowadays, 57.3271% of the youths barely know how to draw stickmen while 14.41% of the youths don’t know how to draw linemen (back on the day, they were called linemen). Then, the stickmen masters were summoned to educate kids about this wondrous art. These experts are known far and wide for their skills; therefore, many frolic to them to learn their art. Consider yourself lucky because you are reading an ancient guide to drawing stickmen, by a stickmen master – me! Do you know your stickmen bub?

         First, let’s discus a matter that we have been arguing about for 301 002 480 329 186 months, what is derp? Derp is stupidity in a funny way. Why do we draw with derp? Because it anchors stickmen. To draw a stickman with derp, make a slightly “ovally” head with its eyes on the center-sides of the head. Then draw the mouth between the eyes creating a confused look. Now, if you wish to, draw the eyebrows facing inward or draw a tongue or an open mouth (you can draw all or one of them, it doesn’t matter). Derp is VERY important, the second most important thing on the earth after dirt.

      Derp is one way to make the face. Now, how to draw the regular face. The regular face varies - it can have eyebrow expressions, big eyes, and other features. But you must have eyes and a mouth; the mouth is a line and the eyes are dots. The arms are about the length of the same size as the mouth. DO NOT make the arms too long, because if you do, it looks abnormal. We want our stickmen looking right, don’t we?

Next, the upper body and the legs. To draw the legs, the lower body has to be a line or a rectangle. On the stick body you cannot do much, but with the rectangular body, you can design it in a trillion ways. Because the rectangular body is hard to make, we suggest using the stick body before drawing the rectangular body. To forge the legs, draw two long (not too long) lines at the bottom of the “body line” or the sides of the rectangular body. To sketch the feet, draw two dot-like lines on the bottom of the feet. By doing this, you show details and personality.

Finally, optional but needed peculiar details. An example of a specific detail is the Me2 Shepard headgear. Draw a thick area shown below and draw a line through it.

Another type of extra detail is the Greek-Roman battle helmet. Draw a triangle with an arch like this:

The body is different, and it has numerous options and if I listed them all, this essay would be 734 264 253 254 342 517 pages long. One option is the simple style, see below:

It is just basically a Greek tunic or something like that. The eyes can be changed into an egg-shaped eye. There are still a bazillion more ways you can design these stickmen, so go have fun and start designing stickmen.

         You have learned the way of the stickmen master. You will have mastered 25% of the techniques written down in history. You can draw your own special stickmen now. You want… an example? Here you go!

          The real masterpiece is up to you. You’re the future…

*PLEASE NOTE: ALL IMAGES IN THIS ESSAY WERE DRAWN ON THE COMPUTER; THEY AREN’T EXACT. THE ONE RIGHT ABOVE WAS DRAWN ON ULTRA AWSOME PAPER.

**ALL HISTORY + DATA ARE FACTITIOUS.